Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Day Time Stood Still

Upon hearing the words, my heart began to pound. 
The world kept spinning, but for me time stood still.


I could hear his voice, "Honey, I had to punch out.  I'm alive."  
And all I could do was say with disbelief, "What?  What happened?  You WHAT???"
"I have to go.  I'm alive.  I love you."
And with that, the call ended.

This wasn't how our afternoon was supposed to go.  Was it?
Not five minutes before, I was on the phone talking to a nice man about buying a puppy dog.
I'd eaten lunch with the kiddos.
Put in another load of laundry.
Read the kids a book.

And more Normal.

But receiving that phone call?  Not normal.
And I didn't know how to react.
"Wait!  I want a do-over!  I want those five minutes back, please!  Rewrite that script!"
It was almost an out of body experience.
Life came to a screeching halt.

Breathing became priority.
In.  Out.
In.  Out.

Then I realized what I was saying while tears coursed down my cheeks:  "Thank you, Lord!  You are so good, Lord!  Thank you, Jesus!!  Your mercy is unfathomable, Lord!"

Because that call could have been much, much worse.  
And the outcome could have been much, much worse.

But it wasn't.
It isn't.
Because God is much, much more than I even imagined He could be.
Because at my darkest point today, I was able to feel His hands holding me up.  
Whispering in my ear.  "Press into Me.  I am here.  I am with your husband.  He is mine."
And as I listened even closer, I heard this:
"Be still and know that I am God."

And I realized that nothing comes to me that hasn't filtered through God's hand first.  
His world didn't stand still at a phone call today.
He knew what was going on.
He was present.
Upon trouble.
Upon ejection.
Upon ER waiting time.
He was there.
He is here.

Today I realized that my God is WAY bigger than I had imagined. I realized that I had boxed God into how I thought He "worked." 
I realized that His grace and mercy abound and are much, much bigger than I can ever comprehend.
Though I do not deserve it, He loves me.
And His grace and mercy abound. 
They simply runneth over.
And today, they covered me.

As a Christian, I thought I "got it."  I thought I "got" God's mercy, His plan, His salvation, His love.
Apparently He is much, much bigger than I ever imagined or dreamed He could be.
And now I wonder...
Will I ever really "get" God?  
Do I need to?  

Grace Flows Down  
Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
Amazing Love
now flowing down
From hands and feet
that were nailed to the tree
As grace flows down, it covers me.
It covers me
It covers me
It covers me
As grace flows down, it covers me."


  1. Hey Annie-
    Praising God with you. But the hardest thing for me is when the outcome IS different... and what you said would STILL be true even if things HAD gone much much "worse" (in our limited understanding)... God is good even IF things would have gone worse. SO thankful for the fact that B is fine.

    Much love to all of you,

    LOVE, BO


The sweetest sounds to mortals given
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.
~William Goldsmith Brown

Leave your sweet sounds here: